My Facebook memories kindly reminded me this morning that this day, last year, we announced our pregnancy to the world, after telling both sets of parents, and my step son. Little did we know, the joy we all felt would be so short lived, as just in a few days, less than a week, my waters would break far to prematurely, and my baby girl would die. As the year of her birth comes, I have found myself really, really struggling. I cry literally all of the time. I don't want to do or see anyone. I can feel myself retreating back to how I was when we first lost her. My heart is breaking all over again and grief just overwhelms me. I'd do anything to have my baby. To hold her again. Of course, writing that last sentence is ironic, as when I last held her, she was lifeless. But I got to hold her. To kiss her. To feel her close to me. Oh, how I just want my baby.
Hello and welcome to my new blog! This Angel Mummy Story has been birthed following the loss of my second daughter; Summer Dermawan- Alsop, miscarried late at 21 weeks and 2 days. Writing has always been something that I enjoy doing and has been a release for me. I created a short blog for Summer back in December, where I posted every day for Blogmas, leading up to Christmas, but have not really written again since. The past few months, I have found my Instagram to be the place where I spend most of my time documenting and sharing my life and journey post loss and though I fully intend to continue with that, I wanted to start a separate blog that would run alongside that and so I would be able to write in more depth and detail. So this is just a quick introductory post, as I set up this new blog. I hope you join me on my journey and I hope that by me being so open and sharing my experiences, that someone, somewhere, will be helped and hopefully feel that they are...